I love you so much.....

Why do I love you so much?
Why cant I forget you?

How much can I escape you?
How much can I escape reality?
I use to always laugh at emotional losers
Now fate is laughing at me….

I don’t wish to write in fear it moves me closer to you….
I love you so much….

My imagination is moving to higher dimensions
This seams more real to me….
This world seems so painful….
I can do anything to be with you
Beautiful moments are etched in my memory
I cant erase it
Please help me god….

I am going insane….
My tears have lost their value..
I feel so lonely
I feel so fake

I believe so much in myself
Your one thought shatters it to pieces and pieces
I feel all achievements are useless….

Please god…….I do so many good things…..I help so many people….I feel so many people….
Help me god….
My life has been going from bad to worse….
No one; absolutely no one to love….only street children to love and feel
Getting higher on pseudo platforms n more hollow from inside
Laughing more n more on outside and howling on the inside

I still wake up in the morning wishing for your good health and good life….
I still sleep thinking about you n praying for your happiness
I was never this weak….I am capable of being loved by so many people….
I still love you so much….

I am made for a very bright future….
I still feel it so artificial….
I will work for the UN, Directing a movie, have a company listed on the nasdaq, open many orphanages, drive a Rollys Royce Phantom..
All useless…..without you

I am such a gentleman and feel so ashamed of emotionally hurting you so much…
Please forgive me….

Maybe I will not see the new year…
Maybe I don’t want to see this new year…
Nothing in this world seems dear to me…
I am courageous enough to kill myself….
But not cowardly enough to escape you….

Why cant I tell myself that you don’t care for me…
I live on hope….
I take long walks and think about you….
I feel you everywhere…
I get high only to feel you more in the most unimaginable decency
I was so nice to you but never good enough…..

I give people relationship advice…
I stare at myself in the mirror and ask why?

Don’t know how long I will live….
My arrogance has been slaughtered by the pain I am feeling

I know you hate me….
Maybe this will free me from this world and pain someday..
This is my hope for happiness

I love honest words and feel every word I write….