Strange proximities of happiness and achievement end up drowning in the sea of the stereotype. It is not working and will never work. A need for a better purpose and people haunts my soul time and again. (One of the happiest memories etched is my mind are of the ngo I worked in last summer.) Giving time to it and feeding on the present crooked identities really hurts sometime. It was never meant to be this difficult seeing the top view. Strangely it is. Identity has been and will be a dubious ideology. Too many choices and loop holes in everything. Self sufficiency seems paralled to nirvana but it is not. After two years in a new environment and understanding rheoteric patterns it feels sick to accept that the same problem is persisting since childhood. Apparently I find some people I truly like but their habbits and ideologies have become so tainted, its a tragedy personally for me. Its time to make some decisions. Hanging on to everything is not going to work for long. I am longing for simplistic forms of living. Often suffering from a superiority complex and showing to major symptoms of a personality disorder of Schizoid. Hopefully courage will take over exceptional and immature beliefs in my life.
I know sanity is prevalent but its overall base is still to be built.
