why was i born...the question haunted me since the age of 8....i started with nothing in life... .be it materialistic, emotonal,spiritual.there was nothin... nothin at all....started as the laughing stock n basically i grew up too early....i lacked that innocence....started thinkin too much at an early age.......i decided to put an end to it....i wanted money,public fame,respect n power.....i sorted out the way of making people feel inferior....they would respect me out of fear....somehow it never worked out.....once the apex is reached in terms of social status i let it go....falling in the trap of trusting people...n i tumble back to where i started only makin it worse by exposin myself.....then i try n instill some maturity in myself.....find a purpose of living,reason for existance and happiness was the only answer.....a mix of materialistic,emotional,spiritual,public fame came the right answer....i decided to stop following anyone n make my own way....n i realized with conviction i got them to follow me....that just made me loose my faith in them n made me laugh at them.....the gullability is so seen....so i become cold....doing what i feel is right...n i end up feeling a bit lonely at times...i suffer from a superiority complex.....its difficult to find people worth putting into.....having fallen so many times......reachin the apex of the social circle i feel i dont like these people...i dont like anyone.....going a bit low the people more humble end up boring me at times.....seeing a soluton is tough...practicality is tough but the answer.....a rolling ball is the right way....do i have people of my clang somewhere....cant see them n i seem to perfer now leaving my mark on only a few people.....to the rest the mask feels right n practical....but i should be happy...i never expected to be appreciated by them....only a few people will be able to get my warmth n i will get from a few....i do my job being secure n leave the rest on the almighty...whose presence is an illusion to keep me happy..this is the purpose....shakesphere said that " life is a tragedy to those to feel n funny to those who think"....n i work on a right mix....i will succced in the materialistic world...just hope to live up to my morals…with nobody having the ability to judge me other than myself….i will practice selfishness with practicality with a right amount of emotional input varing person to person